No, it's not a nice word but at the moment it precisely sums up how I feel.
My art director and I were made redundant today.
Redundant. God that's hard to type.
What made it worse was opening a letter that had been biked to my house by the time I arrived home. Inside was the 'reasoning' why my job 'was being considered for redundancy'.
You see, it's all 'process' these days and part of this process is to have a system that allows candidates for redundancy to be selected 'fairly'. So they came up with a load of criteria and marked us out of five for each. Presumably they'd marked our entire department and then looked at the scores.
And I'm assuming our scores as a team were the poorest.
Even though we were given five out of five for 'concept creation'.
Which, funnily enough, is our job.
We were marked down for over-spending the budget on certain pieces of work.
In other words, going the extra mile to get things done properly.
We were also marked down because we didn't get on with planning. Apparently.
Of course this marking system makes it very easy for creative heads to turn personal likes and dislikes into cold figures. But it doesn't seem very fair to me. In fact it seems pathetically arbitary.
The net result of this 'fairness' is that because the company is seen to have attempted to deal with job losses in a 'proper' way, we get fuck-all money.
Which I realise sounds mercenary but... we all have to live in the real world.
I'm trying not to think about it too much because if I do, I get scared.