Thursday, November 08, 2007

CUNTS

No, it's not a nice word but at the moment it precisely sums up how I feel.

My art director and I were made redundant today.

Redundant. God that's hard to type.

What made it worse was opening a letter that had been biked to my house by the time I arrived home. Inside was the 'reasoning' why my job 'was being considered for redundancy'.

You see, it's all 'process' these days and part of this process is to have a system that allows candidates for redundancy to be selected 'fairly'. So they came up with a load of criteria and marked us out of five for each. Presumably they'd marked our entire department and then looked at the scores.

And I'm assuming our scores as a team were the poorest.

Even though we were given five out of five for 'concept creation'.

Which, funnily enough, is our job.

We were marked down for over-spending the budget on certain pieces of work.

In other words, going the extra mile to get things done properly.

Fuck.

We were also marked down because we didn't get on with planning. Apparently.

Of course this marking system makes it very easy for creative heads to turn personal likes and dislikes into cold figures. But it doesn't seem very fair to me. In fact it seems pathetically arbitary.

The net result of this 'fairness' is that because the company is seen to have attempted to deal with job losses in a 'proper' way, we get fuck-all money.

Which I realise sounds mercenary but... we all have to live in the real world.

I'm trying not to think about it too much because if I do, I get scared.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Now then, now then, goodness gracious!

First this...


Then this...


Is nothing sacred?

Not one but TWO!!! different takes on the immortal "Jim'll Fix It". And the "shift it" fella has even nicked the ruddy logo as well.

I realise that Saville's name is somewhat tarnished these days following some frankly wierd TV appearances, not least that Louis Theroux documentary a few years back. But he's surely entitled to be slightly miffed that the name of his seminal 70s/80s TV show is being taken in vain merely to advance the claims of some guy who mixes concrete and another who's a dab hand at removals.

Seeing these logos my first thoughts in each case were not "oh, I bet he mixes concrete really well" or, "he'd be a good bloke to call if I needed something removing."

No. My first thoughts concerned a small boy who wanted to whistle with Roger Whittaker, a lady whose dream was to be a bus conductor, a boy who wanted to see how Hornby train sets were made and of course, the cub scouts who wanted to eat their lunch whilst going round the Revolution rollercoaster on Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

And then there was the bloke who wanted to play guitar with Status Quo...

"Play quitar with the Quo? Goodness gracious. Well, we 'ad a word with my mate Francis Rossi... and this is 'ow it 'appened."

Marvellous.

"Never such innocence again."

Friday, November 02, 2007

It's gone dark

And I'm idly gazing out of my office window into a meeting room belonging to the company next door. In this meeting room a selection of bald heads are sitting around a table earnestly discussing something that's likely to be lot less interesting yet far more profitable than what I do for a living.

Oh, they've gone now.

Well it is 5.00pm on a Friday evening.

Not so long ago it would have been referred to as 'Friday afternoon' due to the fact that it would still be light.

But it no longer is. It's dark. And that means it's WINTER.

WINTER!!!!!!!

And WINTER means... ICE! SNOW! BLACK ICE! YELLOW SNOW! FOG! FREEZING FOG! HOWLING GALES! DRIVING RAIN! SLEET! WINTERY SHOWERS!

Unless you live in England where it's likely to be QUITE MILD FOR THE TIME OF YEAR... PERHAPS WITH THE RISK OF SOME DRIZZLY RAIN LATER IN THE DAY...

I hope the people in that meeting couldn't see me picking my nose.