Thursday, June 28, 2007


I was scrabbling through my copy of the Oxford Concise Dictionary the other day...

Christ mate, this sounds like a fascinating anecdote, do go on!

...anyway, sarcasm aside, I was looking through this dictionary checking the spelling of a word.

Wow, what a crayzeee life you lead.

Just fuck off. Alright? As I was saying, dictionary... checking spelling... you get the picture.

And as I was trawling through I happened upon this page, at the top of which is the phrase 'living death'. And what strikes me about this phrase is that, well... does it actually need defining? Surely the clue's in the title so even if you've never heard it before you'll sort of have an inkling.

For instance, you're hardly going to say, "Living death. Ooh, I wonder what that means... better look it up quickly. Maybe it's a type of breakfast cereal" You're just not. You're far more likely to say..."Living death. Oh-er, I don't like the sound of that, sounds pretty dodgy to me. I'd better avoid it."

And then you read the definition: "a state of hopeless misery." Yeah right, like you couldn't have guessed. In fact you'll probably go away feeling a bit cheated and saying to yourself, "Huh, bastards. I could've written that, I could."

In the next entry we'll define the phrase, "running fast"... the state of moving, no, not moving, perambulating. The state of perambulating quickly. No, not quickly, speedily... no, hang on that doesn't sound right...

Hmm, harder than it looks actually.

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