Monday, May 21, 2007

Why write proper English?

What 'word games'? What have they got to do with property?

They might as well have written 'Why bother with...

There will be a few moments of silence as Martin attempts to think of something suitably surreal.

... cabbages?'

Not surreal enough, try again.

Well, cabbages will have to do.

Anyway, the point is what is the link between 'word games' and 'property conundrums'? Apart from the fact that on the TV word game programme 'Countdown' the final round is called the 'conundrum'.

And then we come to 'a 57,000 sq ft work solution'.

A what?

Is it some sort of 'work liquid' that covers an area of 57,000 sqare feet?

Although I suppose we could be talking about offices here.

But I rather like the idea of a 'work liquid'. Something to drink before I arrive in the office which means I don't have to do too much thinking.

"A pint of Work Liquid please."

Oh, I know what it is.

It's beer.


Friday, May 04, 2007

"I hereby declare this clock..."

Great to see London Underground staff are still the masters at producing communications that cause customers to stop and stare in bemusement. Here's how they describe a clock that doesn't have any batteries.

Will they have a windy speech by some posh person's wife and then break a bottle of champagne over it like when a ship is launched?

"May God bless her and all who tell the time by her." (CRASH!)

And like when they describe a train delay due to somebody falling/jumping on the track as 'due to passenger action', this message leaves me none the wiser.

They used to use the words 'normal service' when referring to those rare periods of the day when there were no delays on any of the lines. But of course 'normal' for London Underground means times when they do have delays so they changed the wording.

Now, when everything's fine, they call it a 'good service'.

Sorry, but I'll be the judge of that.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


This graffiti (or, "graffito" for the language police) has been cropping up in various guises around London over the last few weeks. I've seen a couple, both as it happens on the side of different branches of HSBC. So, I assumed it was something to do with the letters H-S-B-C, as in some sort of 'alphabet'.

But apparently not as the other locations seem pretty random.

A viral campaign then? Could be, could be.

But what's it for? And will the 'reveal' be worth the wait?